unless you broadcast details about your sex life in public, i don’t see how asexuals in het relationships can in any way be oppressed
this isn’t to say that they don’t get shit from people, especially for women, saying you’re asexual can lead to rape threats and stuff (like in a ~i can cure you of this~ kind of way)
but i mean when you’re out and about with your partner, no one will know you’re asexual? and being in a het relationship means you’re not going to deal with homophobia? so why exactly are you complaining??
Okay. Let me tell you about this thing. It’s called immigration. Now, as far as we’ve been able to tell, asexuals tend to have a higher rate of long distance relationships than the average population. In a globally connected world, this means that asexuals are more likely to have international relationships. I, myself, am part of an asexual triad spanning three different countries and two continents. One of my partners is American and so I’m in the process of immigrating to the US.
If immigration doesn’t think that your relationship is a ‘real’ marriage, they have the right to call you for what is called a Stokes Interview. In this, you and your partner are separately interrogated by the same quesetioner about your relationship. You can get called for this for any reason—they don’t have to have a valid reason to think your relationship is a fake for purposes of immigration. There is a list of questions they are legally allowed to ask you, and then there are questions they will actually ask you. Your ability to live with your partner is on the line and they actually have a specific number of questions you are allowed to have variance from your partner on or they’ll refuse you. You may not refuse to answer a question, so you do not dare tell them to get back to the allowed questions. Questions which have been asked? ”How often do you and your spouse have sex?” ”When did you and your spouse first have sex?” ”What side of the bed does your spouse sleep on?”
I’m not having sex with my partner and while we have shared a bed in the past, this is not something that we will do for the length of our relationship.
In addition, if people suspect your relationship is fraudulent after you enter the US, they can call ICE on you and ICE has the right to investigate your home to see if they believe you are in a ‘valid’ marriage. This happens very rarely for english speaking white people, which we are, but that is a whole separate issue. The point is? They’ll check bedrooms to see if you’re sharing a bed. For this reason, I will have to carefully make my bed each morning until I become a naturalized citizen, just in case someone thinks they’re going to be clever and report us for having a different kind of marriage. It is unlikely, but all it takes is one bit of stupid from someone.
Tell me again how we’re not discriminated against.